


We Are the Crowd

by birds89birds



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Gen, Hockeyblr, Mentions of Real Hockey Playes, Social Media, Tumblr, i'm sorry martin jones, minor crack, one (1) goalie was harmed in the making of this fic, you did no wrong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:49:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24000049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/birds89birds/pseuds/birds89birds
Summary: Sharks Tumblr vs one (1) Christopher Franklin Chow
Relationships: Chris "Chowder" Chow/Caitlin Farmer
Comments: 38
Kudos: 180
Collections: omg stream! please Fics





	We Are the Crowd

**Author's Note:**

> title from "Paparazzi" by Lady Gaga.  
> this is my longest fic ever holy shit i am so proud of myself
> 
> the title of the doc is a BDG quote "[my ideas] come to me in my dreams like visions from an angry god"

#  **Jack Zimmermann Is the Only Valid Non-Shark**

he/him | 19 | chinese-american | lifelong sharks fan | hockey goalie | hawks fans DNI | asks and  
DMs open come say hi! | tag “creamandclams” for non-typical content

 **POSTS** **LIKES** **FOLLOWING** **ASK ME ANYTHING** **ARCHIVE**

  
  
  


**sayusharks** **  
** It was nice to see Brent Burns back as a D him being a forward was Weird and Uncalled For.

 **joegavelski** **  
** Completely accurate assessment.  
_#sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** Jack Zimmermann just signed with the Falcs!!!!!!!! Wish he could be with the Sharks but if he’s  
with the Falcs he’s close to his friends which is swawesome!  
_#creamandclams #pvdfalcs #jack zimmermann #national hockey league #hockey #sayusays_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** is **@sayusharks** a falcs fan?????????

 **sayusharks** **  
** No I’m not I just like Jack Zimmermann a lot! He’s really nice!

 **sayusharks** **  
** Ok maybe I’m a little bit of a fan, but only because I go to school in the area!

 **joegavelski**  
Cancelled.

 **sayusharks** **  
** I’m sorry :((((

 **joegavelski** **  
** I’m kidding I love you Sayu!

 **sayusharks  
**:)  
_#creamandclams_

**sayusharks** **  
** My teammates really like the Falconers so we all managed to get tickets to a game!!! Jack  
Zimmermann was SWASOME!  
_#sayusays #creamandclams_

**sayusharks** **  
** Jonesy’s saves tonight!!!!!!  
_#sharks lb #sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** One of my teammates hasn’t been doing too well in practice. His best friend had to leave the  
team and I think he’s sad. :(

 **mikehaleybike** **  
** can you offer to help? or maybe see if his best friend can visit if they’re still on good terms?

 **sayusharks** **  
** Not really. :( He’s really busy but we go see him whenever we can. School’s busy though.

 **mikehaleybike** **  
** That’s good! i hope your friend feels better soon!

 **sayusharks** **  
** Me too.  
_#creamandclams #my hockey #sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** Why are the aces so mean?? :( Pavs did no wrong!!!

 **burnziesbeard**  
idk :((((( FUCK the aces

 **joegavelski**  
The aces are the patriots of the hockey world.

 **sayusharks** **  
** I mean they’re not chicago…

 **joegavelski** **  
** They’re cutting it fucking close though.

 **sayusharks** **  
** Troy’s pretty nice!!! The rest are OK I guess

 **kentparsonscowlick**  
all of you are blocked

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** not sorry lmao

 **sayusharks** **  
** Oh no!

 **joegavelski** **  
** They’re one of those people who look for an excuse to get offended we’re fine.  
_#creamandclams #sayusays_

**sayusharks**  
Holy shit!!!!!!! Something really good happened to one of my friends I can’t talk about it but it  
was super good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
_#creamandclams #sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** Jo Pawvelski, that is all.  
_#jo pawvelski #sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** I guess we’re out. T-T T-T

**joegavelski**

T-T

 **jonerbot** **  
** T-T next time

 **burnziesbeard**  
T-T  
_#sharks lb #pacific division finals 2016 #sayusays_

**joegavelski** **  
** Hey **@sayusharks** don’t you go to school near Providence? Are you watching the finals live?

 **sayusharks**  
No :((((( I had to go back home. My friends are there and are sending me highlights though!  
_#creamandclams #falcs lb #stanley cup finals 2016 #joecourt_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** DID ANYONE ELSE SEE WHAT I SAW????

 **joegavelski** **  
** JACK ZIMMERMANN????????

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** **@sayusharks** DID YOU SEE IT

 **sayusharks**  
THEY WON THEY WON THEY WON!!!!!!!!!  
_#creamandclams #stanley cup finals #nhlgaykiss #burnziesbarber_

**mikehaleybike** **  
** i’m ok with gay people but do they really have to shove it in our faces?

 **sayusharks**  
They only kissed? That’s not “shoving it in our faces” they are celebrating a swasome win,  
you’re just being homophobic.

 **mikehaleybike  
** look, i know this may sound bad but before the 2009 draft he had a temper tantrum, took a  
bunch of drugs and overdosed. he then fucked off to some shitty liberal arts school for a few  
years and finally went back to the NHL. guy can’t stay out of the spotlight if it kills him. always  
the scandal with the youngest zimmermann. his parents were always so reasonable, they must  
be so disappointed in him.

 **joegavelski  
  
** ********

**sharksimages** **  
** **[Image description: A text from someone named Shikha, saying** **_“there’s a lot to unpack here but let’s throw away the whole suitcase”_ ** **]**

 **burnziesbeard  
** **  
**

**sharksimages** **  
** **[Image description: Pennywise from “IT”, sitting at a counter with a bottle of alcohol on it.  
He is looking at a phone, he throws it down in disgust and reaches for the alcohol. He  
unscrews the cap and flicks it off. He drinks deeply from the bottle.]**

 **sayusharks  
** ****No. Let’s not throw away this suitcase. mikebike you are so incredibly incorrect. Yes,  
Zimmermann did mess up in the past, but 1) he was _18 years old_ , 2) _we do not know the full_ _  
_ _story_ and 3) that has _nothing to do with him coming out_ . He did not come out to get attention,  
hell, it looks like it was entirely a spur of the moment thing. As for him “shoving it in our faces”  
he did not! Lawrence Griffith had his hands up his wife’s shirt and they were making out heavily  
in the middle of the ice and you are saying Jack Zimmermann kissing a guy lightly is “shoving it  
in our faces”. Also you calling this a scandal is just heinous. Love is not a scandal, they are both  
consenting adults (you can see them discussing it in the videos) and they are not being  
indecent. Your particular brand of homophobia is why I normally dislike being in sports  
communities. You seem like a reasonable person until you decide that you dislike some  
arbitrary thing and then you show yourself in your true dickbead form. Usually Tumblr is pretty  
good about not being homophobic, but I guess that is asking too much.

 **burnziesbeard  
  
** ****

**sharksimages** **  
** **[Image description: Man with a shocked expression looking wide-eyed towards the camera. He is drinking iced tea from a large Starbucks cup.]**

 **joegavelski** **  
** CLAP👏BACK👏

 **jonerbot** **  
** sayu @ mikebike:  


**sharksimages** **  
** **[Image description: Ronald Mcdonald looking annoyed. There are words around the image saying** **_“Just about McFucking had it”_ ** **]**

 **sayusharks** **  
** Not a clapback or anything I’m just tired of homophobes. Now that I see you responded you are  
now blocked.  
_#creamandclams #stanley cup finals #nhlgaykiss #sayusays_

**sayusharks  
  
** HEWIN HEIWNTHE EIN OH MY GOR DOH MU GKD YAYGSYAYSH JAAAAAAAACK  
🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬

**pavimgdesc**  
**[Image Description: Blurry image of a house party.]**

**joegavelski**  
Holy shit Sayu’s drunk. He’s not even doing IDs.

 **burnziesbeard**  
please drink responsibly! i know you’re excited but drink plenty of water and make sure to have  
a buddy watching your back!

 **sayusharks**  
My capitals would but he's a light weight but yeah old captain has my back he's so nice and  
AndnrnjANF HE WONT AHE WON JE OWN AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🐬🐬🐬🐬

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** looks like autocorrect was the only reason that was remotely coherant

 **sayusharks** **  
** DID YOU JNIW THAY ARE SDDJNG SHAKRS EMONID DOO ?? I AM SO EXCITTD SHARK  
SHAKR FUDRAK DHAKR HDAKR!!!!!!!🐬🐬🐬🐬🐬

 **joegavelski** **  
** I love drunk Sayu, can we keep him?

 **sayusharks** **  
** NOOOKKOK i need to go back to school

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** i love how tumblr is so ingrained in his brain that he can still use it while shitfaced and ratassed.

 **sayusharks** **  
** :((((((

 **sayusharks** **  
** captain is acharruint me to bed good ivjt!!!!!🐬🐬🐬🐬 I LOVE MARYINE JOENS!!!!!!!!!

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** goodnight sayu!

 **joegavelski** **  
** Goodnight Sayu!

 **sayusharks** **  
** Oh my god. I can barely read half of that.

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** lmfaoooooo

 **joegavelski** **  
** What were you even doing?

 **sayusharks** **  
** College party. It was a little more swasome than usual.

 **joegavelski** **  
** Sounds like fun!

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** are you hung over? do you need any remedies?

 **sayusharks** **  
** I am but my captain’s really good at hangover stuff so I’ll be fine. Thanks though!  
_#tw: alcohol #creamandclams #holy smokes i was so drunk #so sorry guys! #sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** 2016-17 season let’s go!!!!!!!!!  
_#sharks lb_

#  **baby shark doo doo doo doo doo**

he/him 🦈 20 🦈 chinese-american 🦈 lifelong sharks fan 🦈 hockey goalie 🦈 hawks fans  
DNI 🦈 asks and DMs open come say hi! 🦈 LGBT+ RIGHTS 🦈 tag “creamandclams” for  
non-typical content

 **POSTS** **LIKES** **FOLLOWING** **ASK ME ANYTHING** **ARCHIVE**

  
  
  


**sayusharks** **  
** THEY ADDED A SHARK EMOJI🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈  
_#creamandclams_

**sayusharks**  
Ok so in my hockey we’re doing super well!!!!! We got a new captain and he is SWASOME!! My  
old captains were super good but my new captain is amazing!!!!!!!!!! He’s so good at taking care  
of the team and I love being on this team!!!!!!🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** i love when sayu talks about his team it’s always so wholesome  
_#creamandclams #my hockey #sayusays_

  
  


**sayusharks** **  
** THE SHUTOUT!!!!!!!!🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈

 **joegavelski** **  
** IKR we haven’t been doing too good but then Jonesy came in with 24 saves! And a shutout!

 **sayusharks** **  
** Look At Him Go!!!!!!!! Goalie pride!!!!!!🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈  
**burnziesbeard**  
i forget you’re a goalie sometimes sayu! you are a hockey player which can be good but you’re  
a goalie so you are automatically the best sharks blog

 **sayusharks** **  
**  
Other sharks blogs are great too!!!! I loved your Pavelski edits the other day **@burnziesbeard**  
they’re currently my icon on my school email! 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈

 **sharksimages** **  
** **[Image description: Slightly blurry image of a pleased looking cat getting pet.]**

 **joegavelski**  
Sayu you are too pure for this world.

 **sayusharks**  
aw thanks!  
_#sharks lb_

**sharkiesharkieshark**  
I miss Jo Pawvelski

 **sayusharks** **  
** Me too :( but she’s in her furever home now!!! 🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈

 **sharkiesharkieshark**  
:)

 **sayusharks**  
:)🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈

_#jo pawvelski_

**sayusharks** **  
** I’m just gonna pretend that the leafies are not making ranked lists of “which NHL team is likely  
to have an orgy” right now. I have some teammates that might take them a little too close to  
heart.

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** Oh gosh

 **sayusharks**  
This may or may not be a cry for help.

 **joegavelski** **  
** SAYU YOU POOR SOUL LET US HELP YOU!

 **sayusharks**  
Off the record the Sharks have absolutely at least DISCUSSED it. It’s the natural evolution of all  
hockey teams.

 **burnzisbeard**  
sayu NO you innocent child

 **sayusharks**  
I am TWENTY!

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** you are BABY

 **sayusharks**  
Entirely fair.  
_#creamandclams #nsfw #nsfw-ish #sayusays_

**sayusharks**  
Space jam came out the year I was born. I sometimes wonder what the people who came up with the idea for that were on.  
_#creamandclams #sayusays_

**sayusharks**  
WE’RE GETTING AHEAD FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

 **burnziesbeard**  
go sayu!!!!

 **joegavelski** **  
** you got this!!!!

 **jonerbot** **  
** what level of hockey do you play?

 **sayusharks**  
I don’t feel comfortable answering that. :(

 **jonerbot**  
ok!

 **sayusharks** **  
** thank you for understanding! _  
_ _#creamandclams #my hockey #sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** OHMY GOD LADY GAGA JUST DROPPED A NEW SONG SORRY YOU GUYS I’M GONNA LIVEBLOG THIS

 **sayusharks** **  
** Oh this already sounds good.

 **sayusharks** **  
** Oh? Gaga bridge????

 **sayusharks** **  
** THE DRUMS!!!!!!!!!!!

 **sayusharks** **  
** I love this so much.

 **sayusharks** **  
** I’m gonna beg whoever is in charge of goal songs to make Lady Gaga my special Goal Song if I ever get a goal!!!

 **sayusharks** **  
** BE THE CUUUUUURE

 **sayusharks** **  
** I warned you.

 **sayusharks** **  
** NO WHY IS IT OVER NOOOO  
_#creamandclams #the cure lb #lady gaga #sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** OH MY GOSH WE WON WE WON  
_#creamandclams #my hockey #sayusharks_

**burnziesbeard**  
do any of you follow NCAA hockey

 **jonerbot** **  
** yes!

 **burnziesbeard**  
jack zimmermann’s old team, which his boyfriend captains, just won the NCAA championships!

 **sharkiesharkieshark**  
Samwell’s 1st string goalie, Christopher Chow is so precious cellying. Look at the little child!

 **burnziesbeard**  
he played with The jack zimmermann as a freshamn AND was one of the highest ranked  
goalies in the NCAA AS A FRESHMAN he is not a child he is a MAN and an icon

 **joegavelski** **  
** He’s a huge sharks fan too!!!! One of us one of us one of us

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** one of us one of us

 **sayusharks**  
The final was so intense! Did you see #15 SLAM #82 into the bench???? He didn’t get out until  
the celly!

 **joegavelski**  
That’s intense!

 **sayusharks**  
You should really get into NCAA hockey it’s super fun!  
_#creamandclams #ncaa #samwell university_

**sayusharks**  
School is killing me this is a cry for help.  
_#creamandclams #sayusays_

**sayusharks**  
WAIT WHAT OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈🦈

 **joegavelski**  
Hey Sayu you good?

 **sayusharks**  
I got a really good job offer! but I can’t talk about it bc personal information!

 **burnziesbeard**  
entirely fair! stay safe!  
_#creamandclams #sayusays_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** hey so you know how we were talking about christopher chow?  
“Sharks sign Christopher Chow (Jersey #55) from Samwell University to the Barracudas.”

 **joegavelski** **  
** Oh my gosh if he moves up to the NHL he will be the first hometowner for the sharks!

 **burnziesbeard**  
have you seen him play? he’s definitely going to move up, dude’s a brick wall.

 **joegavelski** **  
** Yeah! did you see him in the NCAA finals? Shit was golden

 **sharkiesharkieshark**  
i’m surprised he didn’t finish school though.

 **joegavelski** **  
** When you get an opportunity like that I wouldn’t blame him!  
_#ncaa #san jose barracuda #christopher chow #san jose sharks_

**sayusharks** **  
** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
_#creamandclams_

**sayusharks** **  
** MY BEST FRIEND GOT CAPTAIN AAAAAAA LOOK AT HIM GO IT’S MY BEST FRIEND  
LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!!  
_#creamandclams #my hockey #sayusays_

#  **JONESY NOOOOO**

he/him 🦈 21 🦈 chinese-american 🦈 lifelong sharks fan 🦈 california native 🦈 hockey  
goalie 🦈 hates kent parson 🦈 hawks fans DNI 🦈 asks and DMs open come say hi! 🦈  
LGBT+ RIGHTS 🦈 tag “creamandclams” for non-typical content

 **POSTS** **LIKES** **FOLLOWING** **ASK ME ANYTHING** **ARCHIVE**

  
  
  
  


**joegavelski** **  
** **@sayusharks** how’s college for you? You’re a senior right?

 **sayusharks** **  
** Oh, I actually dropped out! I got a job opportunity for my dream job that I couldn’t say no to so I  
might finish it later but I’m no longer attending university!

 **joegavelski** **  
** That’s so valid! Chase your dreams!  
_#creamandclams #joecourt_

**sayusharks** **  
** first game of the season and we lose :(

 **joegavelski** **  
** :( **  
** _#sharks lb_

**burnziesbeard**

oh come on how the fuck do we lose to fucking LA

 **sayusharks** **  
** idk :(

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** fucking swifties

 **sayusharks**  
retweet  
_#sharks lb_

**sayusharks** **  
** Because of my job I had to quit my old team and move and it feels so weird playing with an entire new team.  
_#creamandclams #my hockey #sayusays_

**sayusharks** **  
** shit i hope jonesy’s ok

 **joegavelski**  
FUCKING OT

 **sayusharks**  
AAAAAAAA

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** SHIT  
_#sharks lb_

**sayusharks** **  
** Kent Parson  
  
Kent Fucking Parson  
  
JONESY NOOOOOOOOO

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** you really shouldn’t be swearing you are A Child

 **sayusharks** **  
** I am not a child I am 21 years old and I am fucking ANGRY

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** let’s get fucking angry

 **joegavelski** **  
** That was so unlucky though, like he somehow managed to cut his tendon clean with his  
skates??? How does that even happen??? **@sayusharks** you’re a goalie do you know how this  
works?

 **sayusharks**  
I have no idea!!!! That was a freak accident and I don’t think you can recover from that! He’ll need surgeries for years. My knee hurt just watching that. 😦

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** FUCK KENT PARSON

 **sayusharks** **  
** FUCK KENT PARSON!

 **joegavelski**  
FUCK KENT PARSON

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** FUCK KENT PARSON **  
** **sayusharks** **  
** And RIP Martin Jones. He will be missed.  
_#tw: violence #sharks lb_

**sayusharks**  
I am so sad for Martin Jones this is awful.

 **joegavelski**  
T-T T-T T-T Jonesy  
**sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** what will they do though? they still have the rest of the season.

 **sayusharks** **  
** They will probably use their second string as their first etc etc and bring a callup from the AHL to fill in.

 **sayusharks**  
But considering Deller isn’t doing too well they might have to swap in an AHL goalie for starter.

 **joegavelski**  
So the rest of the season won’t be good?

 **sayusharks**  
Most likely. :(  
_#sharks lb_

**sayusharks** **  
** iuadujweaujdchi uijhkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

 **joegavelski** **  
** i don’t know what that was about but entirely fair.  
_#creamandclams_

**joegavelski** **  
** “Christopher Chow, #55 for the San Jose Barracudas, to replace Dell as backup goalie for the Sharks, Dell to become starter”  
_#sjsharks #christopher chow #aaron dell_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** did you see chow’s first interview?

 **joegavelski** **  
** Sportsnet Reporter: “Hey, welcome to the team Chris, how's the locker room been? Have the  
guys given you any nicknames so far?”

Chow: “ _idon'tknowificantellyouthatonlivetv”_

He literally shortcircuited during his first star of the game interview.

 **burnziesbeard**  
good to know he's carrying on jonesy's tradition of robot goalies.

 **jonerbot** **  
** abt to change my url bc the legacy continues  
_#christopher chow #burnziesbarber_

**joegavelski** **  
** Oh my god did you hear what the Sharks call Chris Chow?

 **burnziesbeard**  
Fucking Terrifying Goalie? FTG? PEAK humor i am losing it.

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** why do they call him that? he’s so sweet and cute and i love my goalie son he can’t be scary. look at his little face!

 **sayusharks** **  
** Okay Sharkie I’ve been trying to push this aside for a while now but your continuous racism,  
intentional or otherwise, needs to stop. Infantilizing people of asian descent, calling us cute and  
undermining our abilities, shows you do not take us seriously. We are not children and it is  
downright disrespectful to treat us as such. To say that FTG isn’t intimidating on principle,  
because “ just look at his face” is racist and I guarantee you wouldn’t say the same about Zdeno  
Chara. I imagine it’s hurtful towards FTG and I _know_ it’s hurtful to people like me who look like  
him.

This doesn’t behaviour doesn’t end with him, remember that one time you called me a child and  
told me I shouldn’t swear? That is a perfect example of infantilizing, considering I am older than  
you. You might think ‘it's just a joke.’ but it isn’t. _We’re not jokes_ . My heritage is not your punch  
line. More often than not racism towards asians is shown through microaggressions, making it  
incredibly difficult to address discrimination out of fear of being seen as overreacting. 

I don't think for a second you’re doing this intentionally but someone needed to talk to you so  
you could identify these microaggressions and make a change.

 **joegavelski** **  
** Oh shit Sayu’s Had It.

 **chowbot** **  
** as a fellow asian-american, i absolutely agree. stop infantilizing us. we are not children. FTG is  
21 years old. if you’ve actually seen him in-game, you’d know he is intimidating as FUCK.

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** i am so sorry. holy shit i did not realize what i was saying was hurtful. i don’t even know how i  
can start to apologize. 

**sayusharks** **  
** The fact you’ve apologized makes you better than most people. Just try to catch yourself before  
you say those things.

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** if one of you guys catches me saying hurtful shit can you let me know? i know i won’t be perfect,  
can someone DM me or something?

 **chowbot** **  
** i can! thank you for listening and actually making an attempt!  
_#tw: microaggressions #joecourt_

**joegavelski** **  
** Deller has been having issues lately, I hope he’s ok!

 **chowbot** **  
** i heard they might actually switch FTG up to first string bc Deller isn’t used to those minutes

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** yeah, ftg was playing first string in the ncaa for three years and first string in the ahl for however  
many long months he was in the ahl? ftg probably has better stamina.

 **joegavelski** **  
** Speaking of which, have you ever noticed that Futguh changes between the poles? Like you  
know how he’s smiley and bubbly and nice in interviews? Have you seen him when he’s in the  
net? He’s fucking terrifying. I see why they call him Futguh 100%.

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** ftg off-ice: hello mr ____ i’m your daughter’s boyfriend it’s so nice to meet you sir  
ftg on-ice: your daughter calls me daddy

 **joegavelski** **  
** KASJFKADSJKFADS;LKJFKSAL;KJAFSDKLFJAS;KJKDASJFKAL;SKKFSADKFJKSALD;FJKLSDAF;

_#christopher chow #joecourt_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** “Sharks move Chow up to starter, Dell moved down to backup goalie”  
_#sjsharks #chris chow #aaron dell_

**sharksimages** **  
** As I’ve said on my main **@sayusharks** I got a really good job offer recently. Unfortunately,  
because of this, I have been very busy and it’s been very very hard to add descriptions to all the  
images in my tags. :((((

 **pavimgdesc** **  
** I can! I’m not as good but I am learning!

 **sharksimages** **  
**[**https://livingwithdisability.tumblr.com/post/124066767358/all-about-image-descriptions**](https://livingwithdisability.tumblr.com/post/124066767358/all-about-image-descriptions)  
This really helped me out, the background is a little hard to read if you use darkreader like me,  
but it has really good information on how to describe images!

 **pavimgdesc** **  
** Thank you so much! I will use that.

 **sharksimages** **  
** Thank you for taking over! :)

_#sayusays #joecourt_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** so you guys know how Futguh didn’t do his final year at samwell? well his old team, including a  
bunch of alumni, and his girlfriend (who he is still dating!!!! and he talks about all the time!!! i  
Love That For Them) and most of her team (she’s a volleyball player for samwell women’s  
volleyball) go and see every single game he plays within driving distance of samwell.

 **joegavelski** **  
** Honest to god Samwell Men’s Hockey has such good vibes, like I don’t follow NCAA that often  
but I do follow SMH because they’re so nice??? Apparently they are very loud and annoying to be  
around at Samwell (there’s a twitter page dedicated to tracking where they are) but also regularly  
smack down bigots and creeps! They have a small twitter that was started by Eric Bittle when he  
was a sophmore and every year they put out a video about consent and how to ask someone for it  
and how to check in on people without being invasive and it is so good!!

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** well we see where Futguh comes from!  
_#chris chow #burnziesbarber_

#  **in this house we chug respect goalie juice 25/8**

he/him 🦈 22 🦈 chinese-american 🦈 lifelong sharks fan 🦈 california native 🦈 hockey  
goalie 🦈 hawks fans DNI 🦈 asks and DMs open come say hi! 🦈 LGBT+ RIGHTS 🦈 tag  
“creamandclams” for non-typical content

 **POSTS** **LIKES** **FOLLOWING** **ASK ME ANYTHING** **ARCHIVE**

  
  
  
  


**sayusharks** **  
** Another year, another preseason, let’s go!!! **  
** **burnziesbeard** **  
** **✊✊✊**

 **joegavelski** **  
** They’ve got this!  
_#sayusays_

**chrischcw** **  
** **@sayusharks** i have an important question if you’re chinese american do you speak  
cantonese? and if so did you name your blog sayu like shark in cantonese?

bc what you’re telling me is that when you named your blog sayusharks you were  
literally just embodying this video

[ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVb8t9VD8yg ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVb8t9VD8yg)

**sayusharks** **  
** Yes but considering I’m a goalie and I’m never gonna get a goal song, this URL was the best I could do.

 **chrischcw** **  
** yknow what fair. that remix is so cursed but i’ll allow it

 _#cici.txt #sharks social media on point but god at what cost #it literally sounds like sharts #only_ _  
_ _for you sayu #sjsharks_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** UM WHAT THE FUCK

 **joegavelski** **  
** WHY DID FUTGUH ACKNOWLEDGE US????

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** what happened?

 **joegavelski** **  
** after today’s postgame interviews Futguh said something along the lines of “that goal in the  
second by hertl will definitely make good gifs. get on that”

 **chowbot** **  
** he KNOWS  
_#chris chow #sjsharks #burnziesbarber_

**sharkscatdoo** **  
** [ **https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrnR6GDNE_w** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrnR6GDNE_w)

**@sayusharks** what do you think of this video?

 **sayusharks** **  
** I LOVE IT 🥺🥺🥺

**chowbot** **  
** 🚨🚨 **CONSPIRACY THEORY** 🚨🚨  
**@sayusharks** is Futguh. evidence:

  * his old team’s wins and good games are in about the same spots as his more feral posts in 2014-2017
  * his more recent feral posts correspond with sharks wins, but that can be associated with sharks fandom
  * that one time he got super drunk and posted that really blurry image, he’s screaming about someone named  
Jack. everyone knows the only Jack that really exists is Jack Zimmermann and Jack Black, but he would NOT  
be on a first name basis with either of them
  * he doesn't LB sharks games anymore
  * bc he is PLAYING THEM
  * UNLESS he is Futguh
  * back to that blurry image, it probably is a car, or a trophy for whatever league he played in, BUT it could be  
the STANLEY CUP. It WAS posted on the day Jack Zimmermann got the cup, so obviously it CANNOT be anything else
  * he’s a hockey goalie and we all know the only hockey goalie that exists is one (1) Christopher Chow
  * ”job opportunity”? bullshit. Futguh signed with the sharks the same day that Sayu got a “job offer that he couldn't resist”
  * Sayu and Futguh are the same age, there aren't many 22 year-olds. name one 22 year-old you know personally. yeah,  
thought so
  * ever wonder why Sayu never makes Futguh edits?????
  * HE IS FUTGUH and it’s really awkward to make edits about yourself the way we make edits about hockey players
  * he always has the best images of the sharks
  * good googlefoo???? nope! he takes them himself because HE IS FTG
  * Futguh acknowledges us???? only reason can be he uses tumblr too.
  * no one who speaks of this hellsite doesn't use it
  * other social media users quake in fear
  * totally not going through a meltdown rn
  * please help us
  * Sayu is a lifelong sharks fan, Futguh is a lifelong sharks fan



**burnziesbeard** **  
** chowbot rn:  
**  
**

**pavimgdesc**  
**[Image Description: I’ve connected the two dots meme. Image of Shane Madej and Ryan** **  
** **Bergara from Buzzfeed Unsolved at a desk. Shane says “i’ve connected the dots” and** **  
** **Ryan replies with “you didn't connect shit” to which Shane says “i’ve connected them”]**

 **joegavelski** **  
** Holy shit I am losing it.

 **sayusharks** **  
** Um.

 **chowbot** **  
** HE DIDN’T DENY IT  
_#chris chow #sjsharks #shitpost_

**sayusharks** **  
** It’s been years since I played with this guy but every time we’re in the same town we go and  
have a Lady Gaga listening party. I miss being on a team with him haha.

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** you really like lady gaga don’t you?

 **sayusharks** **  
** Only a little.  
# _creamandclams #sayusays_

**toast-of-the-teal-town** **  
** icymi: chris chow and jack zimmermann did an interview with vice sports about life as undrafted  
players coming up through ncaa, link here  
also they told some cute stories about their life playing for samwell together (they overlapped for  
a year). including both of their nicknames in college.

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** this article is so good and no paywall. personal fave story: zimmermann gave his room to chow  
when he graduated  
_#you guys NEED to be following ncaa hockey #so many good prospects coming up #be a_ _  
_ _hockey hipster know them b4 they’re cool owo #sjsharks #pvdfalcs #ncaa_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** holy shit did you guys see the fucking video that jack zimmermann and chris chow put on their  
instagrams???

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** the one with the dogs????

 **joegavelski** **  
** Why did they have to kill us with it??

 **sharkscatdoo** **  
**????

 **joegavelski** **  
** For those of you who do not have instagram, **this** is really happening to us

 **pavimgdesc** **  
** **[Video Transcription: Jack Zimmermann and Chris Chow cheering together. The camera  
switches directions to show a husky and the roundest corgi you’ll ever see. The corgi is  
wearing a bird costume that looks like an amateur seamstress expanded it to fit his  
meatball-shaped figure. The husky is wearing what appears to be a kid’s flotation device  
that is meant to look like a shark. Camera goes back to Chow, who says “ _Our friends let_ _  
__us borrow their dogs! Ulysses is repping the better team!_ ” The camera focuses on the  
husky, named Ulysses. The camera is jostled and Jack Zimmermann takes it.  
Zimmermann replies, in monotone: “ _No Chowder, Spud is representing the better team._ ”  
And the camera switches directions to the corgi, named Spud. Spud looks at the camera  
with no intelligence in his eyes, the lights are not on in there. They both start laughing  
and the video ends.]  
** _#dogs #sjsharks #providence falconers #chris chow #jack zimmermann_

**sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** holy shit have you seen brent burns’s tattoos???? i’m not into men but DAMN

 **joegavelski** **  
** Ok horny.

**sharkiesharkieshark**

I’M NOT HORNY I’M LESBIAN

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** aaand that’s a quote  
_#sjsharks #jutalks_

**chrischcw** **  
** **respectgoaliejuice** asked:

I’ve been trying to get into nhl hockey (mostly watch nwhl), please help me and tell me why  
I should stan your team?

Oooookay the url makes it obvious but i am a Ride. Or. Die. For Futguh aka *in-arena  
announcer voice* yourrrrrr San Jose Sharks startingggggg goalie CHRIS TOPHERRRRRRR  
CHOW! (chow, chow, chow!)

Buckle up kiddos here’s Cici’s top reasons why you should stan the San Jose Sharks for our  
starting goalie ALONE

5.He is ELITE. He took over the crease halfway into his first year on his *entry level contract  
undrafted straight out of ncaa, never played juniors* because the sharks love giving me heart  
attacks and goalie career-ending injury, and then goalie competition where we had no idea who  
the starter was, and then a goalie controversy all in one year, jeez. Once he got the starter  
position the Sharks started leading the league in save percentage for the last couple of month of  
that season though sooooo. Did I mention he was undrafted? Stan talent stan Chris Chow.

5a. Have you noticed that NCAA players and younger players in general just give such better  
interviews and are so articulate? Yeah Futguh’s like that.

4.He’s San Jose’s first ever hometown boy, and we love him! He’s talked in **a** ** lot of interviews**  
( **here** **are** **four** **more** ) about how much he loved the Sharks growing up. No seriously, here’s him  
throwing a massive ikea shark at the Cuda teddy bear toss game when he was in high school.

3.He’s an amazing queer ally and has used pride tape on his stick for a week before and after  
the Sharks HIFE night. He’s also obviously one of the only Chinese-American players in the  
league and does a bunch of outreach!

2.Nickname game so strong. His college nickname was Chowder, because Chris Chow! But his  
first ever practice after he got called up apparently people started calling him “Fucking Terrifying  
Goalie” because he’s so bubbly and articulate off the ice (see 5a) but then becomes a hockey  
robot in the crease. Fucking Terrifying Goalie aka FTG aka Futguh. Also, it’s a real fun  
nickname to explain to media.

1.In conclusion you should drink your respect goalie juice and stan Christopher “Futguh” Chow,  
destroyer of ankles, sunshine of our souls, guardian of our crease.  
_#cici.txt #u thought i was kidding when i said ride or die #spoiler alert: i wasn’t #chris chow_ _  
__#sjsharks_

#  **always on the grind, sharkie on my mind**

he/him 🦈 23 🦈 chinese-american 🦈 lifelong sharks fan 🦈 california native 🦈 hockey  
goalie 🦈 hawks fans DNI 🦈 asks and DMs open come say hi! 🦈 LGBT+ RIGHTS 🦈 tag  
“creamandclams” for non-typical content

 **POSTS** **LIKES** **FOLLOWING** **ASK ME ANYTHING** **ARCHIVE**

  
  
  
  


**sayusharks** **  
** Why is Stupid Love such a BOP????? 100% this will be my goalsong if i ever score a goal.  
_#creamandclams #sayusays #Lady Gaga_

**joegavelski** **  
** I wish I could have a friendship like Futguh and Mo.

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** i mean,,,, you have us 🥺🥺🥺🥺

 **joegavelski** **  
** bro,,,,,,

 **burnziesbeard**  
bro,,,,,,,  
_#love you eri #joecourt_

**sayusharks** **  
** MO IS THE BEST SHARK

 **joegavelski** **  
** I thought you loved them all equally

 **sayusharks** **  
** My friend stole my fucking phone. >:(

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** jsajfjhkaekdjuhifjeuhks  
_#sayusays #sjsharks_

**burnziesbeard** **  
** AUHASYJNJHRESHJKUWESHJYEH YKI OG MY GOD HOLY SAHIT

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** CHRIS CHOOOOOOOOOOW

 **joegavelski** **  
** Second goalie goal against the Bl*ckh*wks THIS YEAR!!! We’re so proud!

 **chowbot** **  
** this is completely unprecedented and insane but also peep that HE HAS A SPECIAL GOAL  
SONG AND IT IS LADY GAGA

AND IT HAD TO BE CHANGED RECENTLY BC STUPID LOVE ONLY CAME OUT IN FEBRUARY

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** what an ICON  
_#OH MY GOOOOOD #chris chow #sharks lb_

**sayusharks**  
I’ve had this blog for seven years now. In celebration, here’s this **video** . Thank you all so  
much, it has been a great time and I hope it will continue to be.

 **sharksimages** **  
** [ **Video Transcription: Chris Chow in someone’s home. There is a watermark that says** **  
** **@sayusharks with SJSharks underneath it directly above his head. He looks nervous. He** **  
** **has a sheet of paper. He looks at the camera. “** **_Hey guys. Chris Chow here. I’m gonna_ ** **_  
_ ** **_give you guys a little message. This was approved by PR but they did not help me at all,_ ** **_  
_ ** **_so you’re getting me, unfiltered. I’m borrowing my friend’s camera. I’m not a very good_ ** **_  
_ ** **_public speaker and a worse speechwriter so I am going to try to read this speech from a_ ** **_  
_ ** **_sheet of paper._ ** **” He laughs and begins to read.** **_“My entire life, I’ve been a sharks fan. I’m_ ** **_  
_ ** **_pretty sure my parents gave me a sharks hat when I was born. When I was 15, I_ ** **_  
_ ** **_discovered what would later be known as ‘hockeyblr’. When I was 16, I decided to take_ ** **_  
_ ** **_my fandom further and create my own ‘hockeyblr’, which would be called ‘sayusharks’,_ ** **_  
_ ** **_‘sayu’ because it was one of the only Cantonese words I still knew and ‘sharks’ because_ ** **_  
_ ** **_well, it was a sharks blog._ ** **” He laughs at his own joke. “** **_Somehow, by the time I was_ ** **_  
_ ** **_getting ready to choose a college, it was one of the most popular sharks blogs. From the_ ** **_  
_ ** **_beginning of this blog, I was scared of revealing my identity. Turns out that was a good_ ** **_  
_ ** **_idea. Jack Zimmermann stans are terrifying._ ** **” A southern voice can be heard in the** **  
** **background yelling “** **_Try ‘stealing’ him from them.”_ ** **Chow ignores them. “** **_When my agent_ ** **_  
_ ** **_called me in 2017, I was surprised, to say the least._ ** **” Same southern voice: “** **_He_ ** **_  
_ ** **_screamed._ ** **” Chow looks annoyed. “** **_Anyways, I was really excited, I really wanted to tell_ ** **_  
_ ** **_you guys, but my agent told me not to. My PR team told me the same thing. Things were_ ** **_  
_ ** **_too new. Unstable. I waited for two years. Now, I’ve signed my contract extension. I’m_ ** **_  
_ ** **_married to the woman I have been in love with for years. I’m on the cover of NHL 20. I’m_ ** **_  
_ ** **_stable. So boom. Sayusharks is Chris Chow. Chris Chow is Sayusharks. I am on Tumblr._ ** **_  
_ ** **_Hi! Also!!!! I should let you know my DMs are closed to only mutuals, and asks are only_ ** **_  
_ ** **_on Sundays, unless it is a gameday for the Sharks. If I am still following you, I consider_ ** **_  
_ ** **_you my friend. Thank you all for the seven great years and let’s hope we can squeeze a_ ** **_  
_ ** **_few more out of this sinking hellsite!”_ ** **He smiles and turns off the camera.** **]**

 **joegavelski** **  
** Woah.

 **burnziesbeard** **  
** oh my god

 **chowbot** **  
** i was RIGHT

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** holy SHIT.  
_#futgate #HOLY SHIT #chris chow #sayusharks #creamandclams_

#  **Christopher Chow**

he/him 🦈 23 🦈 chinese-american 🦈 lifelong sharks fan 🦈 california native 🦈 goalie for the  
San Jose Sharks 🦈 hawks fans DNI 🦈 asks on Sundays when Sharks have no games  
🦈 LGBT+ RIGHTS 🦈 tag “creamandclams” for non-typical content

 **POSTS** **LIKES** **FOLLOWING** **ASK ME ANYTHING** **ARCHIVE**

  
  
  
  


**sayusharks** **  
** Thank you guys so much for the well wishes! I love you all so much and thanks again for the  
seven years of fun, gifs and chaos!

 **sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** no, thank YOU for not alienating us, or trying to lord over us. you could’ve easily used your status as a literal celebrity to i dunno,,,, have a superiority complex?????

 **sayusharks** **  
** Being a “literal celebrity” is no reason to be a jerk.

 **joegavelski** **  
** SPAMMING THE REBLOG RN!

 **chowbot** **  
** PREACH  
_#creamandclams #sayusays_

**sayusharks+joegavelski**

**sayusharks** **  
** Hey Eri! It’s Chowder! I just wanted to let  
you know that there are season tickets  
with your name on them, let me know if  
you need any more!

**joegavelski** **  
** WAIT WHAT?

ARE YOU ACTUALLY TALKING TO ME

OH MY GOD

SEASON TICKETS???

Are you serious?

**sayusharks** **  
** Keep this somewhat secret, the press can  
be kind of annoying and I don’t want them to  
bother you or the other people I’m inviting. :(

But yeah!!! You guys are my friends and  
have helped me through a lot, even if you  
didn’t know it, and I wanted to thank you!

Also… Hanging out IRL would be so cool 🥺  
👉👈 

We might get brunch together at some  
point if you guys want! Bc I want to!

**joegavelski** **  
** **🥺** I’m your friend?

Who else is invited?????

AlsoIi’d love to get brunch with you at some  
point! You’re a pleasure to be mutuals with!

**sayusharks** **  
** You absolutely are my friend!!

Julia (sharkiesharkieshark), Miya  
(burnziesbeard) and Nate (chowbot) are  
also invited! You’re the first to respond  
though.

**joegavekski** **  
** I’m kinda losing it rn, thank you so much!

**sayusharks** **  
** No need to thank me!

Also Cait says hi!

**joegavelski** **  
** JADKEAJKUIEDUJIAKED

**sayusharks** **  
** I’ll get back to you with more details later!

Take care!

**joegavelski** **  
** You too!

  
  


**sayusharks+sharkiesharkieshark**

**sayushark** **  
** Hey Julia! It’s Chowder! I just wanted to let  
you know that there are season tickets  
with your name on them, let me know if  
you need any more!

**sharkiesharkieshark**

what kind of season tickets?

**sayusharks** **  
** I’m goalie for the sharks, what do you think.

**sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** i clearly do not have the braincell rn

**sayushark** **  
** It’s ok! we can’t all have the brain cell **  
**

**sharkiesharkieshark**

**😔**

**sayusharks** **  
** I’ll get back to you with more details later!

Anyways, I wanted to ask you if you’ll want  
that, also if you want to get brunch with me  
and a few other sharks blogs?

**sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** YES ABSOLUTELY AND YES  
ABSOLUTELY

who would be there?

**sayusharks  
**So far only Eri (joegavelski) has said yes,  
but I also invited Miya (burnziesbeard) and  
Nate (chowbot)

**sharkiesharkieshark**

i love those people! yessssss

**sayusharks**

Ok.

I’ll get back to you with more details later!

Take care!

**sharkiesharkieshark** **  
** no u

  
  


**sayusharks+chowbot**

**sayusharks** **  
** Hey Nate! It’s Chowder! I just wanted to let  
you know that there are season tickets  
with your name on them, let me know if  
you need any more!

**chowbot** **  
**!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we’re mutuals???

**sayusharks** **  
** Yup.

**chowbot** **  
** also yes!!!!!!!! i don’t need any more but  
also thank you so much!!!!!!!!

**sayusharks** **  
** This is the least I could do after what you  
guys have done for me.

**chowbot** **  
** 🥺

“you guys”

**sayusharks** **  
** You, Eri (joegavelski), Miya (burnziesbeard)  
and Julia (sharkiesharkieshark).

I also invited them (and now you) to get  
brunch as A Squad at some point. Do you  
wanna come?

**chowbot** **  
** THANK YOU SO MUCHHHHHHH YES  
PLEASE

**sayusharks** **  
** It’s no problem! **  
** I’ll get back to you with more details later!

Take care!

**chowbot** **  
** tysm

  
  


**sayusharks+burnziesbeard**

**sayusharks** **  
** Hey Miya! It’s Chowder! I just wanted to let  
you know that there are season tickets  
with your name on them, let me know if  
you need any more!

**burnziesbeard** **  
** is this a joke?

**sayusharks** **  
** No! That would be just mean!

**burnziesbeard** **  
** you are correct on that

**sayusharks** **  
** Before I forget, I’ve invited you, Eri  
(joegavelski), Julia (sharkiesharkieshark)  
and Nate. You’re the only one who hasn’t  
responded yet.

**burnziesbeard** **  
** yes!!!!!! i’d love to! me and eri have actually  
exchanged numbers so it’ll be awesome to  
meet them irl

**sayusharks** **  
** sounds great! I’ll get back to you with more  
details later!

Take care!

**burnziesbeard** **  
** you too!

  
  
  
**Chris Chow** is following you

**Author's Note:**

> they ended up getting brunch together it was really cute!
> 
> this was loosely inspired by petal's fic FTG (https://archiveofourown.org/works/10126628) and i cannot recommend it enough
> 
> chrischcw is SolaSola! she helped me a lot with writing as the in-house sharks fan/tumblrite and i couldn't do this without her! so she's a co-author!
> 
> thank you so much for reading!  
> oh also i'm omgcphivemind on tumblr come say hi
> 
> yes i'm aware the ending might not be the most realistic but it makes me very happy and i need all the seratonin i can get  
> -birds


End file.
